big problem

i have a big problem trying to smile for the past week.

1) Cough medicine causing me to be in a trance-like state all day long. i sleep whenever jude sleeps. my kind of cough is the dry sort and it's really irritating especially when the air is cooler.
:(

2) Jude fell sick (again!!) with a sore throat. he probably got the virus from me.
:(

3) And falling ill for jude means more fussing during mealtimes and milktimes. He doesn't want to eat his porridge at all. I've been throwing away more than half bowl of his porridge for the past couple of days.
:(

4) I'm really upset becos i've been trying to keep Jude on a really healthy diet to build up his obviously poor immune system. He visits the doctor every month since 4th month. Really feel like banging the wall, especially when i'm the sole caregiver to him now. I have no idea what i've done wrong, or have not done.
:(

really really tired.