Long absence from this blog means something not good

basically i am demoralized...

while i was trying to work on jude's pangsai problem, a terrible throat infection striked him down and now he's reduced from a size M to a size S. he doesn't want to eat anything; i guess swallowing really really hurts. today is the 4th day of the throat saga. i estimate he will lose 100g per day... that means by today, he must have lost 400g...

*big sigh*

random thoughts of being a parent

while it's really nice to have a child to call your own, the heavy responsibility and endless worrying that came in the package, puts a strain on me. one child to some other parents is no big deal, but to me, jude is my report card and it seems so extremely important to score. no borderline results allowed, red marks are out of the question. every aspect of me is being tested and revealed in him. i see the effects of my parenting..... and didn't like it.

to put it simply, i realized another side of me. at the end of every sem, i need to sign my own report card and i dun like the result i see.

Nope, i never regret having Jude. i still think that he's the best thing that has happened to me and no one else can ever replace him. i love being a mum; i just think i'm not very good as a mum.

so, sorry LKY, i'm stopping at one definitely.